anders/book-1/10.tex

\chapter{10}

There was no way he could tell how long he had slept,
but there was one thing that was definitely different:
The unconsciousness that he had fallen into had given way to a normal sleep after a while,
even though it wasn't particularly long or restorative in any form.
Even as Andrew's consciousness glid over the border between sleep and being awake like a dead-tired swimmer,
he could feel that there was real relief on the other side.
Not too much had changed.
He still had a headache and he was still a little queasy;
at the very best the two weren't as bad as before.
And his knee had stopped hurting.
At least something.
It was surprising how undemanding you get when you're feeling bad enough.

He opened his eyes and at first he felt like he was still on the other side of the river in the burnt city,
because he was still surrounded by grey twilight that removed all color and blurred the outlines of things as if he were inside of a blurred black-and-white picture.
On second glance he realized that the explanation was much simpler.
It had gotten dark outside and the holey curtains that hung in front of the windows in the surprisingly large room he was in blocked out even more of the murky light.
If he recalled the few short moments before his senses had faded it was early afternoon.
Apparently he had slept a little longer than he had thought.

That memory let a different,
more alarming picture rise to the top of Andrew's conciousness that he hastily dismissed.
He already felt miserable enough without the tasteless jokes that his overstimulated imagination kept handy.

He blinked a couple more times to get out his stupor,
propped himself up on his elbows and carefully sat up.
Something glid off his chest with a rustle and as Andrew looked down he discovered two things:
He was completely naked and someone had covered him with a shoddy sheet that was bristling with dirt and smelled as bad as the bed he was laying on.

Lightly disgusted, but also at least just as embarrassed,
he sat up completely and swung his legs off the edge of the squeaking folding cot that he had woken up on and slung the grubby sheet around his hips.
The floor that he set his naked feet on was warm.

Andrew slowly turned his head to look around the room with more attention.
The pale twilight was making it hard to discern details,
but nevertheless he saw that the room was very big and furnished with a surprising amount of furniture,
although they were all very old and in not too good of condition.
Anything near enough to discern details seemed to be made exclusively out of metal and had burn marks on it;
apparently anything flammable hadn't survived the catastrophe on this side of the river either.

He heard a sound and turned towards the door that, like the windows, only had a sheet hung in front of it.
The scrap was pushed to the side and Katt stepped in.
Andrew could only recognize her silhouette,
but he could tell that she had stopped abruptly in the middle of taking another step as she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed.

``You're awake?''

``As you can see.''
Andrew started to cough and had to swallow a few times since his voice wanted to fail him.

``Wait'', said Katt. ``I'll get you water.''

Before Andrew could stop her, she turned on her heel and out of the room.
Andrew stared after her befuddled, but he actually was thirsty;
either way she had left so quickly that she would surely be back soon.

He stood up, slung the cloth closer around his hips,
and clumsily felt around the room for his clothes.
He of course knew who had unclothed him
--- even though he wasn't entirely sure why ---,
but he thought it would be more embarrassing to get \textit{dressed} in front of her.

He just barely made it.
As the sheet was pushed to the side in front of the doorway again he was busy tying his shoes and only regarded Katt out of the corner of his eye.
She hadn't come alone.
Behind her a second,
smaller shadow
--- probably her sister ---
stepped into the room,
but stood at the doorway.
Katt carried something in her hands and as she got closer Andrew heard a quiet gurgle that escalated his thirst to an almost unbearable burning in his throat.
Without tying his shoe completely he turned around towards Katt and downright ripped the metal container from her hands.

The water was warm and tasted a bit stale,
but he still gulped it down with large, greedy swallows,
and even though he emptied the whole cup he almost had more thirst afterwards than he had before.
So as not to waste even the last drop he licked his lips and just now noticed how rough and chapped his lips were.
The fever must have impacted him more than he had thought.

``Thank you'', he said and held the cup out to Katt.
``Can I have some more?''

``Later'', answered Katt.
``I don't think that you should drink too much at once.
How do you feel?''

The question was tinged with an unmistakeable astonishment to see him not only awake, but also standing and fully clothed.
She herself had also recuperated quite well.
She didn't necessarily look in the pink
--- she was too lean and the traces of lifelong hardship were dug too deep in her face ---,
but she seemed to have taken the previous day much better than he had,
which Andrew registered with a slight stab of envy.

``How you feel after a day like yesterday'', he said.
``Where are we?''

``Yessterday?'', asked Ratt from the door.
Andrew took a quick look in her direction and a strange feeling washed over him.
The picture from his memory wanted to push itself forward again, but Andrew hastily dismissed it again.
Ratt had an odd way to speak,
maybe even a speech impediment --- so?

``In my house'', answered Katt.
``Ratt and I brought you here.''
She made a gesture as he wanted to say something and continued.
``I would like it if you would sit down.
We know how strong and tough you are,
but that won't matter if you just collapse again.''

That was too much, even with all the thankfulness Andrew still felt.
Eventually she would have to stop getting on his nerves about her carrying him.

Twice, to be exact.

``Listen'', he started.
``I think that\dots''

The shadow at the door moved.
Ratt got closer and stepped into the grey light that streamed through the holes in the tattered sheet that covered the window,
and Andrew stopped mid sentence.
His jaw dropped.
The cup slipped out of his hand and fell rattling to the ground, but he didn't hear it.

He stared at Katt's sister with an incredulous look.

His memory hadn't been tricking him.

And it wasn't a nightmare.

In front of him a one and a half meter tall rat stood on its hind legs.

``But \dots that's \dots impossible!'', he grunted.

``Yeah, I'm happy too meet you too\footnote{This needs some work. Book pg. 149}'', hissed Ratt.
``And if it makesss you fffeel any better, I don't think you're handsssome either.''

``I must be dreaming'', mumbled Andrew.
Man-sized rats that walked on their hind legs and lisped sassy answers didn't exist.

``Please sit down, Andrew'', Katt asked.
``I think we need to explain something to you.''

Andrew actually let himself sink obediently to the edge of the bed
--- even if it was just because his knees suddenly felt like they were filled with pudding,
and couldn't support the weight of his body any more.
Katt watched him very carefully,
and he didn't overlook that she was standing in a somewhat tense position so that she could jump in if he suddenly went limp again.
This time Andrew didn't take her unmistakeable concern for granted.
He really felt as if he could collapse at any moment.
Everything was spinning around him,
but this time it wasn't due to anything physical.
He barely heard what Katt was saying.
He could only stare at the unkempt shape next to her,
who was now also a head taller than him as he sat there.
She sneered down at him with her black eyes like a demon from a fever dream.

But it wasn't a dream. In front of him stood a rat.\footnote{Oh shit! Its a rat!}

\textit{Good God, there was a man-sized, speaking rat standing in front of him!}

``Pull yourssselfff together'', hissed Ratt. ``Have you never seen a girl?''

\textit{Not one like that,} thought Andrew.
He wasn't able to pronounce the words,
it was if his throat had been sown shut.
Girl?
\textit{Girl\textinterrobang}


``I told you'', said Katt,
facing her sister but without looking away from Andrew's face.
She looked as if she was awaiting a specific reaction from him.
No.
As if she was \textit{afraid} of it.

``Bullshit'', hissed Ratt.
Her whiskers quivered like small nervous antennae as she shook her head intensely.
``He'sss playing usss!''

Andrew was far from overcoming his shock,
but he was at least able to look at the rat girl more closely.
Katt's sister wasn't really a rat,
at least not completely.
She was naked,
so he could see that she was nearly completely covered with thick brown fur.
Her build was more of a girl than a rodent:
She had hands,
her hind legs had turned into feet that were way too small on which she balanced with remarkable skill,
and she even had a long naked whip tail that was nervously twitching back and forth.
Her head was also a mixture of that of a human girl and that of a rat,
but the result was utterly astounding:
She was in no way ugly or even repulsive,
in the contrary she was cute in a way that was hard to explain.

``Yeah, whatever you mean'',
said Katt and pulled a face that made any further explanation unnecessary.

``Why don't you go and get something to eat for Andrew?
He must be dying of starvation.
And don't tell the others yet.
I want to talk to him first.''

Ratt nodded, but didn't move from where she was standing,
instead flashing a more malicious look at Andrew with her little black button-eyes.
Then she bared her teeth ---
just that they weren't rat teeth,
they were regular human pearly whites.

``That's enough'', said Andrew. ``Now its enough.''

Katt just looked at him questioningly,
but Ratt puckered up disparagingly ---
at least that's how Andrew interpreted it.
He hadn't exactly had much experience reading the facial expressions of a rat.

``You can stop with the theater now'', he continued.
``I mean: you've had your fun, but I'm good now.
You can take off your mask Ratt ---
or whatever your name actually is.''

Ratt stared at him with a murderous gaze and hissed threateningly ---
but Andrew had the feeling that none of it was real and that behind the staged anger in her eyes in actuality was only tediously ill-concealed mockery.

``The soup'', reminded Katt. ``and put a good amount of meat in it, he has a lot to catch up on.''

Of course Ratt didn't leave without giving Andrew another angry look ---
but she left.
Andrew looked after her until the curtain had closed behind her,
and even then he stared at the direction she had disappeared in for a considerable time.

``Everything okay?'', asked Katt.

``Of course'', mumbled Andrew.
``I just had a conversation with a rat, but I'm fine \dots I think.''

He tore his gaze from the door with some effort and looked at the girl.
Katt's uncomprehending look made it clear to him that the irony in his voice hadn't been understood at all.
He nodded again and this time in a serious tone
``Yeah. I was just \dots caught off guard. I didn't figure something like this would happen.''


Katt remained silent for a moment, then sat down on the edge of the bed with him
and laid her hand on his thigh with a strangely familiar gesture.
Her touch wasn't uncomfortable for Andrew,
in fact it was the opposite.
Even so he just barely could reign in his reaction to swat her hand away.
He was frightened and for the most part more confused than he had ever been before in his life.

``You're really from outside, right?'', she asked.

Andrew kept quiet.
He wasn't capable of thinking a clear thought,
much less \textit{answer} anything.

``Ratt still doesn't really believe it,
but I know that its the truth.
You were talking in your sleep.''

``And?'', asked Andrew.
`` What did I say?''

``To be honest I didn't understand most of it'', Katt admitted.
She laughed unsurely,
as if confessing it were embarrassing.
She raised her shoulders.
``But maybe it was just pointless mumbling.
You had a pretty high fever.
For a time I wasn't sure if you were going to survive it.''

``If I was talking in my fever,
how would you know that it wasn't all just nonsense anyway?'', asked Andrew.

``Was it?''

``How should I know?
I would have to remember what I had said.''
He regretted his rough tone before he was even done speaking them.
``Sorry.
But I really can't remember.''
He searched through his memory but the result was just a more confusing mess.
He wasn't even sure which parts of what he remembered were real
and which parts were a nightmare that was following him after he woke.

``I'm not surprised'', said Katt.
``You almost died.
You're the first one that got the sickness and didn't die.''

``What sickness?''
``\textit{The Sickness}'', answered Katt.
``Anybody that isn't from here gets it.
Anybody from outside.''

``Like the men in the black suits?''
Suddenly at least one of the terrible memories that he had made sense,
even though it was terrible through and through.
``Is that why they killed their own comrade?''

``They don't take anyone with them if their suit was damaged'', said Katt.
That wasn't necessarily an answer to his question,
but Andrew was still too confused to pay attention to that amount of detail.
``Some of them kill themselves.
The others die from the sickness.''

``All of them?''

``I don't know'', said Katt with a shrug.
``It is said two of them were brought here,
but they already had the sickness and died without waking up again.''

``It is said?''

``I wasn't here then'', answered Katt.
``It was a long time ago.
Maybe it isn't actually true.
Its a really long time ago you know?
Even all the old ones didn't see it themselves,
they just heard it from their parents.
That's why a lot of them don't believe that you're from outside.
But I knew it.''

The words were spoken with the utmost earnest,
but something about them didn't feel right to Andrew.
She believed him so it wasn't that.
But the way in which she believed him and had taken him under her wing against the others
(whoever that might be)
filled him with unease.
Little by little the feeling that Katt considered him to be one of her belongings crept over him.
Something that she had found and didn't want to give back.

``Your sister'', he asked. ``Ratt, is she \dots''
He nervously flicked his tongue across his lips and had to start over.
`` Is she really your sister?''

``Of course'', answered Katt.
``Don't you have siblings?''

``Nope'', answered Andrew.
``And if I had any they wouldn't look like that.''

``Not like \textit{what}?'' Katt said sharply.

``Not like you'', explained Andrew carefully.
``Not so \dots different.''

He had done something wrong.
Katt was silent for quite a while before she continued,
and her voice was noticeably colder but definitely more inquisitive than before.
``Does everyone where you're from look like you?''

``Like me?''
\textit{No hybrids between girls and rats?
Nope, definitely not.}

Katt looked at him expectingly,
but pulled her had off his leg and scooted a little bit further away.
``You don't want to talk about it'', she stated.

``No, that's not it'', said Andrew hastily.
He started to reach out to her,
but didn't dare touch her.
Odd, when they were running for their lives she had seemed like a pretty good friend.
Now that they were alone and in relative safety it felt like they had just met.

``What is it then?'', asked Katt.

``I don't know.'', answered Andrew distressed.
``I \dots''
He shook his head helplessly.
Everything was spinning around him.